Richard Bannister

While today was spent at Tivoli Gardens, there isn't much left for me to say about the park that hasn't already been covered in exhaustive detail by people far more eloquent than myself. Instead, let me chronicle briefly the experience of the Irish contingent trying to get home from Copenhagen to Dublin. All times are local times, and approximate.

• 16:00: Club buses arrive in Copenhagen Kastrup airport. We're at the wrong terminal, but this is no big deal.
• 16:45: Friendly British Airways check-in staff member advises me that I cannot check straight through to Dublin because my onward flight isn't with a member of the One World Alliance. This doesn't worry me hugely, as there is three and a half hours between when we land and when we take off again.
• 17:30: Our flight is reported as twenty five minutes late.
• 18:00: We are still waiting to board our flight. It was supposed to take off at this stage.
• 18:15: Boarding for our flight finally begins.
• 19:00: Flight takes off an hour late.
• 20:00: Flight lands in London Heathrow Terminal Four. We have seventy five minutes left to make our connection in Terminal One. Our aircraft taxis right past the Irish flights in T1. We contemplate asking if we can get off...
• 20:20: Flight has been stationary for some time but not at a gate. Pilot announces that there is some problem with the Tarmac which has left a large number of gates unusable.
• 20:35: Flight finally arrives at gate. However, it transpires that there is nobody present from BA to drive the stairs up to the plane.
• 20:45: We finally begin to disembark the aircraft, and barge past everyone to the front of the passport control queue.
• 20:50: We arrive in baggage reclaim. Baggage movement hasn't started yet. There is now twenty five minutes left before checkin closes for our flight in T1.
• 20:55: Mary gives me contact details for the Heathrow Holiday Inn.
• 21:00: I call the office to advise them that I'm unlikely to make it to work tomorrow morning.
• 21:05: Baggage arrives. We start running.
• 21:08: Board Heathrow Express.
• 21:12: We disembark the train only to read a sign indicating that Terminal One is three hundred metres away. Now we start to run.
• 21:13 Assorted faces from people as three people run at full pelt down the underground walkway while towing suitcases. I shout at several people to get out of the way.
• 21:14 and 58 seconds: Check in for flight to Dublin.
• 21:15: Flight check-in closes.
• 21:25: We collapse in the bar, and begin to contemplate exactly what we would like to do to the management at British Airways.

We've all decided that next time, damn the cost, we're going to fly direct from Dublin.